At three o'clock in the morning, I opened my phone again and stared blankly at the golden label on the clinic's official website that read 'the highest success rate in the United States'. My husband turned over from behind and muttered, 'Don't look,' but I know he will secretly check the same information tomorrow - this is the norm after our third failed IVF test. Later on, I realized that those sparkling titles were like "low-fat food" labels in supermarkets. The truly important things are often hidden in the small letters on the nutrition chart.
Why the United States?
At first, like all Chinese patients, I was shocked by the "80% live birth rate" of a clinic in California. It wasn't until she met Lina - who had failed two transplants in Shanghai and arrived in Boston - that she realized her endometrial receptivity was two days later than the standard population. It's not that the technology in the United States is amazing, but they are willing to burn money for research on individual differences, "she pointed to the small words in the CDC report and showed me." The data for the elderly group in this clinic is beautiful because they dare to even accept micro stimulation cycles, while many domestic institutions directly discourage people over 35 years old
The legal differences surprised me even more. The doctors in New York heard that we wanted PGT-M screening for hereditary diseases in our families, so they went straight to state regulations and said, "You can choose gender in California, but not in New York. If this is important, I suggest you fly to Los Angeles." Later, on the authorization document for frozen embryos, my husband suddenly asked me, "If we both have a car accident at the same time, who will these embryos belong to?" This question is probably only understood by those who have experienced it.
Data can lie, especially beautiful data
The clinic ranking list on the CDC official website is like a high school entrance exam red list, but the devil is in the details. That year, I had a superstitious belief in a certain institution with a "comprehensive success rate of 70%" until I found out that they mixed the egg donation cycle and self fertilization cycle together - like using the sales of milk tea shops to impersonate Maotai's performance. What is even more hidden in the SART report is the "cancellation cycle rate", where some clinics may exclude patients with poor response from the statistics in advance, resulting in a naturally high success rate.
The most ironic thing is that the clinic I later chose only had a clinical pregnancy rate of 55% on its official website. But when the doctor first met me, he showed me the stratified data: "For single blastocyst transfer between 35-37 years old, our actual live birth rate is 48%. If the stimulation response is not good, it is recommended to consider switching to a micro stimulation plan." This kind of honesty actually makes people feel at ease, just like the cabinet sister who proactively told you "this product may irritate sensitive skin" when buying skincare products.
Doctors are humans, not surgical machines
At a well-known clinic in Houston, I have seen how the so-called 'tech guru' works: he looks at five consultation rooms at the same time like a fast food restaurant manager, and the nurse reminds' the next patient is waiting 'three minutes in advance. Dr. Lee, who is always complained of being "slow" in Boston, will suddenly ask me before embryo transfer: "Do you want to hear the sound of blood flow in your endometrium? Today it sounds like Hawaiian waves." Later, my embryo was implanted in this "sound of waves".
Asian patients in particular need to be vigilant about "communication discounts". The embryologist at the clinic in Chicago once referred to my abortion plan as "aggressive protocol," which translated into Chinese as "radical protocol," and scared my mother into calling me overnight to persuade her to stop. Until the head nurse who can speak Cantonese explained, "In fact, the dosage was increased according to your AMH value, like half a handful of rice was added to Congee."
The hidden bills that nobody told you
The parking fee for the San Francisco clinic is $32 per day, which is enough to buy three Gonal-F ejaculation needles - I only discovered this on my third round trip. Even more covert is the 'poor cost of the plan': some doctors prefer expensive growth hormone (Omnitrope), while conservatives may use Menopur as a substitute, with a difference of $2000 per cycle.
The most painful thing is the 'Hope Tax'. When the doctor in New York suggested that I do an ERA test (to check the optimal implantation time for the endometrium), I almost jumped up and said, "Another $800 extra?!" But on the night of my third failed transplant, I stared at the conclusion of the ERA report that "the tolerance period was shifted by 24 hours," and suddenly understood why my friend said, "The most expensive thing on the IVF route is not money, it's time
How did I make a decision later on
The clinic ultimately selected is only considered to be above average in the CDC ranking. But their embryologists will take photos to record the shape of the droplets in the culture dish, saying, 'Do they look like your Chinese lingzhi?'; The nurse remembered that my hands trembled every time I drew blood, so she specially prepared a heating pad later. Once in the early hours of the morning, when I discovered a question about the dosage of medication, the doctor replied directly via WhatsApp: "Don't worry about the instructions, your estrogen curve tells me that I need to reduce my dosage
When I watch my daughter play with building blocks now, I often think of the assembly line work at the "top clinic" in Los Angeles, and also of the doctor in Denver who insisted that we do a psychological assessment first: "IVF is not about repairing cars, you can't just give me a parts list." Perhaps the most suitable clinic is where you feel like you are a person, not a medical record number.
(Afterword: Last week I received an email from Lina, who suddenly ovulated while traveling in Alaska. The local clinic temporarily coordinated monitoring for her.). At the end of the letter, she wrote, "You see, the standard of a good clinic may be that when life doesn't go according to plan, they know better than you how to embrace the unexpected
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